‘This isn't a punishment, this is consequences’: Scorned 27-year-old daughter refuses to view her mother's affair partner-turned-husband as a father after the pair destroyed their family

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 29, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

In this world, when you decide to start a family with another person, you make a conscious decision to stand by them and, if applicable, your children. Of course, not everyone gets love right on their first (serious) try. If that were the case, I probably wouldn't attend therapy once a week…

Making things work isn't always an option. So, you try to be as amicable as possible and as much as your pride allows, especially for your children's sakes. If there's anything you must keep sacred in this world, it's your relationship with your kid. The rest is fluid.

The mom in this next story fails miserably to do this. She not only cheats on her husband with a married man, but also deprioritizes her relationship with her child so she can try and get love right the second time around. This kid, now an adult, refuses to see the homewrecker as a father. In what world would they? The selfish pair destroyed any shot at a regular, wholesome family life. Newsflash: You can divorce someone before betraying them. Scroll below to read the full story.

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  • "It felt insulting to try and play parent when he helped destroy my family..."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my mom her husband is just the guy she cheated on my dad with?"

    My parents divorced when I (27f) was 10 because my mom had an affair. How do I know? Because her affair partner turned husband
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  • was also married and his wife at the time showed up at our house after the affair came out both sides and yelled it all over the place. She had to be removed by
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  • the cops and she showed up a few more times over the next two years. My mom blamed my dad for me finding out until I was 14
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  • and I told her I wasn't deaf and could hear that woman outside our house and I wasn't too young to understand what it meant.
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  • My relationship with mom was strained by her affair and I don't give a f about her husband. He never had kids and tried to
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  • play the dad role but I shut him out and put him in his place whenever he tried, by reminding him I have a dad and he doesn't
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  • get to take me from dad like he took mom. And yes I know nobody can take another person. It was my mom's choice and her
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  • fault too. But still. It felt extra insulting to try and play parent when he helped destroy my family and dad's marriage to mom.
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  • My dad d d when I was 19. It was a very tense time in my relationship with mom because I didn't tell her. She found out after
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  • dad's funeral. A part of me was glad because I did not want her to come to the funeral and I certainly didn't want her there with her husband. My mom was
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  • hurt and acted like I owed it to her to let them come, so they could be there for me. I told her their support was not wanted right then. Especially not for losing dad.
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  • Even still she believed that her husband would become the father figure I no longer had with dad gone. And they both
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  • expected he would be given father of the bride honors at my wedding. Instead I asked my grandpa and mom blew a fuse
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  • when she found out. She asked me what the h II was thinking and her husband has been there, raising me, since I was 10 and he
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  • is more to me than just some random guy. I told her she was partly right and he's just the guy she cheated on my dad with. Nothing more.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10522113024
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My mom said it was a childish and vindictive way to describe him and that I need to get the f over it and appreciate how
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  • hard he tried with me. She said it's like I'm trying to punish them for the affair when it was nothing to do with me. I told her this isn't
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  • a punishment, this is consequences. And she has to live with them. Same way he does.
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  • She's still going crazy about me saying that and I don't feel bad but question if maybe I was a bit of an AH for telling her that. Maybe? AITA?
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  • Last-Campaign-3373 Why do all cheaters complain about being punished?? I agree that it's mostly natural consequences they face, but even if they were being punished, they have zero right to complain about it. They deserve some punishment. Punish away. NTA
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  • amw38961 Because they're self centered and have narcissistic qualities so they can never take accountability and it's everybody else's fault EXCEPT theirs because GOD FORBID they face repercussions/consequences for their actions...everybody else should just "get over it because it's been a long time" LMAO.
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  • EDIT: I always say to people like that.....you want me to forgive you on YOUR time, which just goes to show how selfish you are. That's not how forgiveness works. My forgiveness does not work on YOUR time.
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  • EDIT #2: ALSO....just because I forgive someone internally (for the betterment of myself), doesn't mean we're back at square with you one. I can forgive you and still not f because I don't owe you sh LMAO.
    via amw38961

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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